Humpaween
My CraigsList Post:
Spook Me Silly - w4m - 28 (Hollywood)
it’s about to be hump day AND halloween. you know what that means? its humpaween eve. lets rip it up. 36-24-36. cum in costume.
Response from “onen5is7”:
Nice one. Looking to fuck a clown tonight?
My response:
what kind?
His response:
A scary perverted dominant clown walking the streets of Hollywood. Something like that.
My response:
how did he become a clown?
His response:
Well, that’s a long sordid tale. He was in the drunk tank one night and there was a clown passed out in the cell with him. But what the cops didn’t know was that he was wanted on a series of outstanding warrants so to avoid them finding out his true identity he stole the clown costume and the other man’s identity. Then after he was released he was wandering the streets and through a series of mistaken identities was pulled into a kid’s birthday party. He quickly learned that posing as a clown allowed him to gain access to little’s girls bedrooms where he could smell panties til his heart’s content. And the rest is history.
My response:
ew, he liked smelling underpants? what if there was poo in there?
His response:
He preferred the freshly washed ones.
My response:
then why did he need to smell little girls’ underwear? why not just smell his own after doing laundry?
His response:
Because he was mentally unstable and a criminal who got off on the danger of it all.
My response:
the danger of smelling underwear? what’s the danger?
His response:
Well if he got caught in the underwear drawer the cops would be called and they’d find out his true identity.
My response:
why wouldn’t he leave the house while they called the cops?
His response:
Well he would try to run, but clowns are very recognizable when the cops are chasing you.
My response:
why hasn’t he taken off his clown costume to blend in better?
His response:
Cause he doesn’t have any other clothes. He switched them with the guy in the jail cell.
My response:
Wait, so he got his clown costume from his cellmate? Why was he trading clothes with his cellmate?
His response:
So he could get out of jail with the passed out guy’s identity. He wasn’t getting out any time soon.
My response:
How did he get out of jail?
His response:
The clown was just in overnight for being drunk in public and to sleep it off. They let him out in the morning.
My response:
Then why did he need to assume his cellmate’s identity?
His response:
Because he wasn’t the clown at that point. He was the career criminal in for the long haul.
My response:
But I thought he was arrested for being drunk in public. How does that make him a career criminal?
His response:
That’s why he was arrested, but he had outstanding warrants for real crimes. They didn’t know who he really was when they brought him in.
My response:
So he was arrested for being drunk, but was afraid the police would find out that he’s a sought-after serial clean underwear-sniffer, so he took the identity of his cellmate which happens to be a clown?
His response:
Pretty much. Except he wasn’t a clean underwear sniffer at that point. More of a serial killer waiting to find his true calling.
My response:
So being a serial killer wasn’t his true calling. That was just his boring day job. He finally found his fate when catching a whiff of his washed underpants?
His response:
Exactly.
My response:
So he had gone most of his life not washing his underpants, but when he did it on a lark, it shook him to his very core?
His response:
No, it didn’t work his underpants. There weren’t frilly and naughty. He had just never been around little girl’s pink rooms before he became a clown. That’s what shook him to his core.
My response:
Why are girls underpants naughty?
His reponse:
Because they’re underage.
My response:
So girls shouldn’t have underwear when they’re underage?
His response:
He’d never had access to them before. It was all new to him. The forbidden fruit.
Who are you??
My response:
Oh I’m sorry, I promised my agent a draft of my new serial killer thriller tomorrow and I’ve got nothing. Thanks for talking it out with me! I’ll take it from here.
His response:
I look forward to the royalties.
Scorecard:
Me:14, Onen/Royalties: 0
